Friday, 29 August 2014

5 Things We Love To Hate About Fashion..


1. When sales don't have your size!

 Theres nothing worse than finding that beautiful dress you've been hunting for all season and the sizing just isn't cutting it. This event can go one of two ways..too small or too big; leaving you with the fantastic decision of looking like a suffocating cat trying to get threw its cat flap after one to many tins of iams; or turning up at the party drenched by a dress designed to fit an Essex boy in bulking season. 

 2. The pointed court:

 Ahhhhh the court shoe, think Louboutin, Manolo Blahnik, crushed toes and blisters. We love the summer court shoe, Infact it may be the most perfect style ever to exist; but oh the pain that comes from the devils design! From mangled baby toes, to permentally triangular feet, court shoes leave our feet looking more Poundland than Prada, but in the essence of all things fashion.. Beauty is pain! 

3. The after party:

Summer is the festival season and fashion at its height, spine tingling tracks and foreheads encrusted with bindis and glitter. Fashion doesn't get more perfect than at this time of year. We spend months looking for our killer bodysuits and netted cycling shorts to adorn us at such events..but come the after party, we leave looking more middle aged mum at the gym, than Ibiza goddess. Not only has our make up been completely wiped from our face by the tsunami of sweat, usually bought on by awkward conversations with just as unsober strangers, but also our top knots seem to flop at the first sign of a warehouse or club; after a day spent soaking up the sun. Our hair and make up seem to tell us "No Girl, you don't look cool anymore, go home, get some rest" but our body's tell us "no girl you keep doing your thang" 

4. Finding your perfect jeans:

Put it this way jeans are that basic item that's not so basic, finding a pair of snug fitting jeans could possibly be hard than running the marathon or getting your hair band out of a messy bun; two very challenging events. Jeans are always either to tight on the legs but to baggy on the feet, or perfect on the legs and gaping at the waist, it's a vicious circle that is inevitably unavoidable. We admit the Joni Jean is a pretty tough contender and usually what we settle for, but even with their perfect tightness and ability to make your booty look oh so Kimmy K we all know that McDonald's is a no go when wearing them, and no jeans are ever gonna be perfect if you can eat a Big Mac in them, are they? 

5. Small tits:

This is a personal one for me, don't get me wrong I've heard the whole small boobs are so Chanel, and the "I wish I could wear that, my boobs are to big" compliments. But to all you big boobed bitches out there, please never wish tiny tit syndrome upon yourself! I kid you not try make a deep plunging v neck seem appealing to any man, when you practically scream "I'm a 5 year old" whilst walking into a club. I'm not saying we want double D's but a juicy bit of cleavage and a bit of movement of fat from the belly to chest area wouldn't go a miss.

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